28
Oct
2011
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
Kids love Halloween as it is such fun to get dressed up and get candy! Because children are fascinated with halloween, an excellent dinner conversation can be about where did the idea of witches come from? It isn’t a conversation I’d have with a young child, but for an older child, it is a very interesting conversation.
In the last few centuries, there have been periods where healers in villages were seen as a threat to the religious leaders. Healers who could listened to their bodies, who used plants for healing, who encouraged people to look within for answers rather than to leaders, were a threat to the authorities. The healers were demonized for their healing work (called witches inferring the dark arts, not healers). It has taken us quite some time to come back to a culture where we listen to our bodies wisdom and we look within for our soul’s purpose, and we can embrace this with modern science rather than one or the other. I believe knowing this history helps explain some of our reluctance in our culture to look within and trust our bodies and our souls’ wisdom. We live in an amazing time in history where we have the freedom to make our own choices of how to care for our bodies and what we want to believe in.
How do you encourage your children to listen from within?
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17
Oct
2011
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
One tradition we have created is based on the original meaning of Halloween. It is considered the day that marked the time of year when the seasons were changing from the golden fall to the winter season, a time when we have the opportunity to connect in a deeper way with ourselves. With this change of the seasons, the celtics felt the veil between our departed and our world is the thinnest. Rather than experience that as a scary time, it was celebrated as an opportunity to remember our ancestors and accord them respect.
draw the family tree as a visual
So with that theme, my daughter Faith and I go through our family three on my side and my husband’s side. I use that time to tell her stories about my grandparents and also my husband’s father who died much too early and she never got to meet him. We talk about what traits may have been passed down from them to her and we give thanks as each generation paves the way for the next generation.
set up the idea that they have ‘gifts’ from the family that they can build on
In the car yesterday, Faith out of the blue said, ‘Isn’t everything amazing – I mean we can drive in cars, how do they get that part on the end of matches that makes a fire?’ All of the ease we experience in life is invention after invention building upon each other. And each generation builds upon each other so Halloween is a time when we remember to honour and celebrate our departed loved ones.
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13
Jul
2011
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
We are finding going to sleep as early as we do in winter almost impossible. The sun is shining and calling us outside for a walk or a quick game of soccer. So I am having to look for new ways to help my daughter go to sleep at night.
What she loves so much and what helps her relax is a nice slow paced massage each night. After we’ve had story time, I lay beside her and give her a back and neck massage (sometimes arms too), and we find that this helps her relax into the bed. Then my husband will often come and give us some therapeutic touch. If you haven’t tried that, it is simple to learn. At the very least touch is another way to love our children.
And of course if we aren’t going to be physically there, our Dream Child CD is always helpful.
What are ways you find helpful to help your child to sleep?
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28
May
2011
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
My daughter started saying “I don’t like getting older.” I was so surprised as I thought kids liked getting older. I talk about my age and how grateful I am to be healthy and happy, so my first instinct was that it wasn’t coming from me. Then I dug deeper.
I realized I tell her many wonderful stories about when she was younger as she loves to hear them and I enjoy sharing them with her. Sometimes I say, oh, I miss that age. It felt like everything sped up once she got more independent in grade 1, and I find myself wanting to slow down time as I cherishing these years of closeness. There is a bittersweet edge I feel as she is getting older. And I wondered if my attitude was in the highest service to her, possibly not.
So I just decided to start talking about how much I am loving seeing her grow up, what changes I have noticed in the last year and how much I have enjoyed witnessing them. I share how her brain significantly develops around the age of 9 and more analytical/complex thinking is possible and how I love the conversations she is now able to have with me. I share the activities I enjoy with her and how much I am looking forward to the upcoming years we’ll go through together – how exciting our future as a family is.
Interesting, with this very small change, she has completely stopped saying she doesn’t want to get older. In fact, she talks more eagerly about getting older. I feel elated, partly because I realize that errors I make parenting can often easily be remedied.
So much about parenting for me is being willing to look deep inside as the answers are not always obvious. I can’t always see it alone or with my husband because we are both in it, but I have been able to create the emotional space where my best friend feels like she can share her uncomfortable observations with me. I feel so blessed I have a friend willing to do that for me as it is easier to say nothing.
I like to figure out how I can reframe something for my daughter and how so easily shifts can happen. And now I see her happily enjoying the process of getting older as she celebrates her birthday. How simple and how beautiful.
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24
May
2011
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
Children LOVE hearing stories, particularly children under 9 (but even those over 9 tend to still like stories). So whatever it is that you want to enroll your child to do, all you need to do is create a make believe story modeling what you want.
For example, if you want your child to be polite to guests when they visit your house. You can tell a simple story about the bear family – mama bear, father bear and their 2 cubs. Each cub can have an interesting personality to make the story more exciting. Your story can include one cub being rude to all the guests and some of the natural consequences of that (parents not being very keen to have that cub over for playdates with their cubs perhaps). Then how the cub learns to be kind and welcoming to guests and some natural consequences of that and how everyone felt when it all worked out.
Whenever I am stuck and trying to figure out how to teach something, I find this method helps my child learn in a way that is fun for them. From a science perspective, until age 9, a child’s cognitive brain is not well developed yet, so stories is a way they can retain the information more effectively. Also it creates a lovely connection time between us parents and our child…and forces us to use some creativity in our day….I find I even have fun with it and am sometimes surprised where the stories take us.
Why not try telling a story out and see what happens….it makes car rides much more fun.
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6
Jan
2010
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
Our daughter Faith turned 9 today. She awoke so excited and asked to open one of her gifts. Then at breakfast, I sat looking in her beautiful brown eyes and said, 9 years ago today you were born. You came out of my body and were our miracle. We had no idea how much love and joy you’d bring into our lives…and my voice was cracking. She had so many tears running down her face too. I am reminded how much more important those moments of connection are than the gifts that come and go.
We are busy organizing her birthday for Sunday afternoon. Faith has always found that the time we spend organizing the party, writing up the invitations, planning the activities, talking about how to make each child feel welcome has been as much fun as the party.
And it is a wonderful time to embed such important values including what makes each child feel welcome, how to thank each child for coming and thanking each one for their gift, how to create an atmosphere that is inclusive and happy. All values that help children learn how to create successful friendships – and good friendships would likely be chosen as what brings the most joy to a person’s life. And for me, it is such fun having this time working on something that brings such joy to my child.
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